


The Perks of Having a Three-Year-Old as God

by LivingScratchingPost



Series: Perks 'Verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15.20 does not exist in this universe, F/M, M/M, Sam did not watch 15.18, a little bit of sad Dean, but LatAm dub does, but not for long, post 15.19 fix it fic, this is entirely self-indulgent to help me get over the mess that was 15.20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27946718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LivingScratchingPost/pseuds/LivingScratchingPost
Summary: After the events of 15.19, Dean struggles to cope with life post-Chuck without Castiel. Luckily, he doesn't have to for too long.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Castiel, Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy
Series: Perks 'Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2046629
Comments: 4
Kudos: 84





	1. Chapter 1

It had been a week since Sam and Dean had defeated Chuck and Jack had left to become the new God and go do God things.

In that time, they'd heard from all of their friends: Jody, Charlie, Donna, Garth, Eileen--even Kevin, who had been restored to life and reunited with his mother. Everyone was alive and well and returned from wherever Chuck had zapped them, including the dog Dean had found and dubbed Miracle. 

On top of that, they were finally free from Chuck's influence, free to do whatever they wanted.

Dean should be happy. He knew this, and yet he was miserable. He tried to keep it from Sam who was rekindling his relationship with Elieen but it was hard when Dean spent just about every waking hour buried in lore, a bottle of something alcoholic at his elbow, trying to find something--anything--about the Empty. Or at least something that would dull the edge of the sharp pain in his chest.

The thing was, everybody had come back, except the one person Dean wanted most. Castiel had made a huge romantic speech about how much he loved Dean and how loving Dean had changed him, but Dean, shaken, had only been able to manage a tiny 'me too' before the Shadow had appeared and taken his best friend to the Empty. Dean hadn't been given a chance to tell Cas how he felt about him--which the truth was, he loved Cas with all his entire being and had even fantasized about having sex with him and maybe getting married and raising a bundle of kids together, but he'd always thought that Cas being an angel meant that he was supposed to be incapable of experiencing these sort of feelings but apparently that wasn't true and now...

And then on top of all that, if Dean had understood Cas correctly, he had been taken because he experienced happiness. And well, the thing was, it kept going around in Dean's head and filling him with guilt: had Castiel's happiness come from confessing his feelings to Dean or had it come from hearing Dean's reciprocation? 

For one whole week Dean had been buried in lore and alcohol before Sam staged an intervention.

"Dean, do you think this is how Cas would have wanted you to spend the life he sacrificed himself to save? Don't you think he would've wanted you to live your life?" he'd lectured Dean.

Dean had been indignant at first. How could Sam say that, when Dean had watched his one best chance at true happiness in this life get snatched away from him by black goo? But as he absorbed Sam's words, Dean's anger subsided. Sam was right, however much he hated to admit it. Even if he never saw Cas again--and especially if he didn't--it was a disgrace to his friend's memory if Dean let his sacrifice go to waste.

And so another week went by, but during this week Dean devoted himself to self-care. He exercised, he meditated, he ate healthier, he drank less alcohol and more water, and he took Miracle for walks into town. He was doing great, he thought...and then Eileen moved back in. 

Dean loved Eileen, he did, but seeing her and Sam interact, watching them smile and laugh and be so in love reminded Dean painfully of everything he could have had with Cas but which was now far out of his reach. He dreamt almost every night of Castiel returning. Some mornings he woke up hard. But most mornings he woke up crying.

Something had to give, Dean knew it.

He just hadn't expected to be given something.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the happy as promised. Also the title drop.

It was now two and half weeks post-Chuck. Dean was in town, taking Miracle for a walk. He and Sam had put up 'FOUND DOG' posters all over, but so far, no one had tried to claim her, for which Dean was secretly happy. He didn't think he would have made it through this past fortnight without her. 

This past week, during his daily walks with Miracle, he had picked up the habit of stopping in at local businesses in town along his route to pick up job applications, as part of his new self-care kick. As he and Miracle were walking past the bakery (and Dean was contemplating whether or not that was something he could apply for or if Sam would make fun of him for working in a bakery), Miracle's ears suddenly pricked up. She let out a woof! and took off down the street so abruptly that her leash was tugged out of his hand. 

"Hey!" Dean pounded down the street after her, his heart thudding in his chest. He couldn't lose Miracle, he couldn't--

She disappeared from view and for a moment, dread dropped a cold heavy stone into his stomach, only to be replaced by a warm rush of relief when a flurry of barking erupted from the alley behind the bar a few doors down from the bakery. The barking was accompanied by a flash of white light which had Dean pulling his gun, ready to kill anything that dared threaten his dog.

A figure was huddled in the back of the alley, in front of the dumpster, underneath Miracle, who was licking the crap out of them. 

A flash of tan had Dean's heart in his mouth. Could it be--? No, it couldn't be. Dean couldn't afford to get his hopes up. But he had to be sure.

"Miracle, that's enough!" he choked out.

The person in the back of the alley pushed Miracle off of himself and looked up and made eye contact with Dean. 

Dean's heart made the leap from his mouth to the stratosphere. 

He didn't remember taking the distance from the entrance of the alley to the end. One moment he was standing, staring; the next he was crouching on the ground, his arms around (what he hoped was) Cas, his mouth on his and it felt so right and good and natural and why had they waited so long to do this? Castiel's lips were soft and chapped and tasted like the wind blowing through the high lonely places of the world. He tasted like Heaven.

When a fat tear rolled down Dean's cheek, Cas pulled away. 

"Please tell me you're real," Dean croaked. If he wasn't, if this was a dream or a trick or a hallucination or a random homeless person with an unfortunate passing resemblance to the love of his life whom Dean had just assaulted--

"I'm real," Cas answered. How Dean had missed his voice! He almost burst into tears from just those two words. "It hasn't--" Cas choked out. "It hasn't been too long has it?"

"It's been way too long," Dean answered fervently, because it had.

Cas looked stricken. "How long?"

"Two and a half weeks."

Cas sighed with relief. "Oh. Good. I was worried--years." He still seemed uncertain, however, as though he didn't quite trust Dean's answer. 

Dean felt then an obligation to ease the nervousness coming off of his friend's face and also to get the big romantic speech he'd been planning for two and a half weeks off of his chest. "Hey, Cas, c'mere," he began, hugging Cas tight to his chest. Cas rested his head on Dean's shoulder. "You know I--I'm not the greatest at talking about this stuff? You know, feelings and--and shit. But I--from the moment we first met, in that barn, all those years ago, there was something, right? But I didn't know what it was, didn't know how much you would mean to me. And then the Leviathan and Purgatory and Naomi and Lucifer and the Empty--all those times I thought I'd lost you, it was like losing a piece of myself. And all through that I thought, I thought, he has no idea. No idea what I'm feeling, cuz he's an angel and angels can't--can't feel, but then you--you said you loved me and, God, Cas, you're the best friend I've ever had and I don't want to ruin that but God, I just--I love you. I love you so fucking much, and I just, I want you to stay. With me. Forever."

Cas raised his head and stared at Dean, wide-eyed. "Dean," he breathed. 

For a brief moment, Dean feared he was about to get rejected, but then Cas leaned back in and captured Dean's lips with his own, and then (yes) they were kissing again and it was still good (yay!) and oh that was Castiel's tongue and that was nice (wow) and (oh dear) that was his hand--

Now it was Dean who pulled away abruptly, when Castiel's hand snaked down past the hem of Dean's pants. "Whoa, there, tiger!"

Castiel blinked peevishly. "What?"

"We can't...um...we can't," Dean stammered, struggling to get his brain in gear to compose a more coherent response.

Cas squinted uncomprehendingly. "Why not?"

"Well, we, um, we need to talk about this," he gestured vaguely between them, "first, right?

"Do we?"

Dean picked himself up off the ground, grabbing Miracle's leash as he did, wincing as his knees creaked ominously. He didn't like to admit it, but he was getting too old for this kind of shit. Once on his feet, he held out the hand not holding Miracle's leash for Cas to grab onto to lever himself to his own feet.

But Cas did not take the hand. Rather, he just stared up at Dean with a hangdog expression. 

"Hey, buddy, I'm not saying we'll never get there. I just don't think our first time getting down and dirty should be in an alley outside some bar, against a dumpster, with the dog watching."

Castiel's mouth opened in an 'o' of embarassed realization, and then he took Dean's proffered hand and let Dean pull him to his feet. 

Neither of them let go of the other's hand, and so they continued holding hands as they exited the alley and walked down the street. A rare, giddy feeling went through Dean. Cas felt it, too, if the smile on his face, mirroring Dean's, was any indication. Even Miracle seemed to have picked up on the mood. She trotted happily beside Dean, tail wagging, tongue lolling. 

"I'm sorry about--" Cas waved his free hand in the direction of the alley. "I was momentarily overcome by the strength of my human emotions."

Dean's eyebrows shot up at that. "You're human?"

Cas nodded, and then went on to explain what had happened to him since the last time he'd seen Dean. When the Shadow had grabbed him, he had ended up in Heaven instead of the Empty (because apparently he had a soul now, who knew?). After Jack became God, he and Cas remade Heaven in their image. (Apparently there was now only Heaven that everyone shared--cool.) Jack had thought Cas should stay in Heaven, but when Kelly had found out what had triggered the Empty to take Cas, she had pressured Jack to let Cas return to Earth and reunite with Dean.

"One of the perks of having a three-year-old as God, I guess," Dean remarked. "He has to do whatever his mom says." Castiel hummed in agreement. A horrifying thought occurred to Dean then. "Oh God. He's three. And he hasn't hit his dinosaur phase yet. Fuck, what if he has a dinosaur phase? Cuz I remember Sammy's dinosaur phase and if he had had the resources to create actual dinosaurs--"

Cas laughed. It was the most beautiful sound Dean had ever heard and he decided there and then he needed to hear it all the time for the rest of his life. "Well, if that happens, we should make sure to give him the 'birds are dinosaurs' talk."

Dean stopped in his tracks, forcing Cas to stop too and look back at him. "Wait. Birds are WHAT?"

Cas laughed again and explained. It took most of the way back to the Bunker, and most of the explanation went over Dean's head, but he was just so glad to hear his friend's voice again he didn't care. 

When they reached the Bunker, Dean stopped and let go of Castiel's hand before they went in. "Um, can we hold off on telling Sam about..." He gestured between them, "until we hash out the details of the, um, change in our relationship status?"

Cas cocked his head curiously. "I guess."

"Also, I'm pretty sure he's going to pop the question to Eileen any day now and I don't want to steal from his thunder."

"Sounds fair, I suppose. Whatever you're comfortable with. I understand coming out can be...uncomfortable."

Dean rubbed the back of his neck uneasily. Trust Cas to see right through him, as always. "Uh, yeah. I mean, I'm sure Sam will be cool, but I just--I don't know. Don't wanna spoil his image of me as his cool older brother."

"I'm sure it won't," Cas reassured him. "But you should do whatever feels best to you, and I'll respect your wishes whatever you decide. Though I would recommend telling him sooner rather than later." 

Dean ducked his head to suppress the warm and fuzzies that Castiel's reassurance inspired from bursting out of him. As it was, he wasn't quite able to tamp them down entirely and they birthed a burst of confidence within him. "You know what, I'm going to tell him right now!"

So yeah he ended up not telling Sam right then because as soon as he came in Sam announced that he and Eileen were engaged (which was actually sooner than Dean had expected because Eileen was currently a state over working on a case) and then Sam got excited about Castiel's return and then Cas had to explain how he was back all over again and then Sam insisted that they go out to eat to celebrate his engagement and Castiel's return since none of them had had dinner yet and by that point Dean had had enough time to chicken out of his resolve to tell Sam that evening.

"It just wasn't the right time," Dean muttered lamely to Cas as they got ready for bed. 

"Well, you said you wanted to wait until we had hashed out the terms of this relationship. We haven't yet," Cas, stripped down to his dress shirt and boxers because he had refused Dean's offer of borrowed clothing, reminded Dean gently. 

The right time would come in due course. And Dean would take Cas to get his own clothes in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I started writing this as a means to help me over the depression that watching 15.20 induced in me. I hope it helps y'all as much it helped me! 
> 
> These two chapters act as the preamble to the rest of the series. There are currently 2 more installments planned, hopefully to come out in the next weeks and months, though there might be more depending on far I choose to explore this timeline.
> 
> Til next time! :)


End file.
